Peace by peace is how I let go of you before I even get close to having any of this.

I cant stop you from coming into my life. Or my thoughts. I cant stop you from being there. I have a picture of you in my book of days and I have my days in your looks.
I wonder, would I be different now if I said no... Would I feel less lost and more happy? Would my books be fuller and my days less jumpy?

I never thought I'd like someone so far away from my reality. I never thought I would have to wash someone off my clothes every night I'd come home from their castles... I know now and I smile now. I dream.
I scream at night and I know -- I grow.
I wake up and it's still real.



And certainly I cant stop you from staying. You are already here. I just need to let you go to make sure you come back.

Full moon. Full cycle. Full days.


And you know what I wonder about when I talk to you here (because I am certain you can hear me!)..?! I wonder if my dreams are as real as my reality. And I cant wait. Because I know. I want the real thing. I want the real real feeling, and I know, no matter what distance I walk, it will only count if you are there on the other end.
Otherwise its just as usual.

The game I know how two play. Two men and a sweet little girl. I need to let you go to get you.

Because everything has to be balanced.

And I give myself permission to be me. Thats alright because I am too far in in this magic. And I cant even tell you all about it.

I am in flight.

You are in waiting.


Is it all the same? Is it gonna happen within? You show me pictures. I just watch.

And that's alright. It doesn't hurt. It doesn't make me wish for the life you had.

I've not been here before.

And that is so refreshing. Look -- this is me. The way I got. After all the break-ups, break-throughs... heart-breaks. Its a different game. I can still walk away. Still can.