Hey there! How are you? Its been a while.. I missed you. I missed being honest. I want to be honest. I want to pour my heart into that cup. If only it could hold it.
But I will try.
I always do anyways... anythin that might hold my heart
I am sure you remember. I keep smiling, I keep going and still know my boyfriend cheated on me. I know he told me. Just the next morning. I know I made decision to go through with it. To walk stright into my fear. To walk stright into something I thought nothing would happen to me. I know it hurt that time I know it still does. I know. Even though I love him. Even though I am so certain the wound is healing.
Is till feel that emptyness. I still feel that hollow sense of something so foreign I can hardly grasp.
Let me tell you about love.
Its something I think should come without condition, without reason or sense. And stay. Because right here, right now -- I know this love is something I am so full of. Half fun. Never half empty. And I wonder. I keep wonder -- how much longer all my wounds and all my fears are gonna follow me.
And yet again..
yes again I know it's something that within me. I was told yesterday -- why do you call it a hole. The name make a clown. And I shouldn't.
I should be happy.
I should be loved.
I am loved.
I am love.
I wonder and I sink. I sink into you. I try.
I try so really hard.
To stop. To stop myself.
To not do this again.
And again.
And again.
But I do.
But we do.
And it's all so so worth it.
I'd die for love, I know. I'd die for silly things. I've died for silly things. I've given myself up. I've given myself away.
And I am still here.
And I am still breathing.
Breathing into you.
Save me. Before it's too late. Safe me because I know I've saved myself.
